


Would you still love me the same?

by DirtyLilGreaseMonkey



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-22
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-04-27 14:43:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5052625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DirtyLilGreaseMonkey/pseuds/DirtyLilGreaseMonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robert finally wakes up, but what and who will he remember?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Eyes wide shut

**Author's Note:**

> So I wanted to do something different, there is more to come, but let me know what you think.  
> Give me a follow on tumblr - starkidsarah

He tried to lift his eyelids but they were so heavy. All he wanted to do was open them, he'd felt like he'd slept for years but he was still so tired. He could hear the beeping of the machines and when he tried to move his neck it felt stiff from staying still for too long. He wanted to speak but as he tried he started to panic when he realised something had been in his mouth, he could feel the scratches as he breathed. He coughed trying to clear his throat but this only caused him to retch. 

“Aaron,” he eventually mouthed his voice unable to pass the soreness of his throat. 

Victoria, who was stood next to his bed, noticed Roberts eyes fluttering. She could see he was trying to say something and leant in closer, her ear just inches away from his mouth.

He tried again.

“Aaron.”

However, it just it comes out as a gurgle. His fists clenched in anger, why won't his voice work?

He tried once again this time mustering up all the energy he had and put it into that one thing.

“Arun.” he managed.

“Aaron?” Victoria exclaimed.

Robert just nodded, relief washing over his face. 

“What? He did this to you?” Victoria cried.

His expression went from relief to confusion, what was she saying? He just wanted to see Aaron, that was all, he wanted his Aaron, why was she so shocked? She knew how he felt about him, they all did, he loves him.

He shook his head.

“What are you saying Robert?” Victoria pleaded.

“Want……  
……….Aaron.”

“Why?” Vic asked. 

He doesn't understand.

He's tired, so tired, he asks for him once more before closing his eyes, images of Aaron floating in the darkness as his eyes closed.

…

Victoria knew about Aaron, everyone did, one of the last conversations she'd had with her brother had been about his feelings for him. Robert had denied everything of course but she could tell he had loved him, why else would of he carried of the affair for so long. And now, now Robert wants Aaron? What was that about? Or was he trying to say that Aaron was the one that had done this to him, because if he had she would never forgive him. 

… 

Victoria felt like she had spent the last week stuck in this hospital, if she wasn’t by Roberts beside, hoping he would open his eyes again she was by Adams side, looking through the window into the neonatal unit. When had her life become about feeding tubes, machines and worry? She’d never worried about so much all at once. If her brother would wake up again, if Johnny would make it through the night, where on earth Andy was. There were so many unanswered questions, all she wanted to do was bury her head in her hands and let the tears take over but she had to be strong, she had to look after her family, just like they had looked after her in the past.

…

She was back in Roberts room. She held his hand and willed him to wake up again. It had been two days since he'd mumbled Aaron's name and she had sat by his beside practically the whole time, occasionally joined by Diane, she didn't want to leave for too long, she wanted to know what he'd meant. She hadn't told anyone, she wasn't going to, not until she had all the facts. Aaron was one of her best friends and he loved her, not like he loved him but she knew in her heart that whatever had happened between them he could never hurt Robert. 

Robert tried to open his eyes again, but he was just so tired. All he wanted was to feel the rough hands of Aaron wrap around his fingers and tell him everything was going to be okay. Where was he? He could feel a hand on his but it was too soft, too delicate to be his. He turned his head but groaned from the pain.

“Don't try and move Robert,” Victoria said with relief as she watched her brother finally regain consciousness. 

“Vic?” he asked hoarsely. 

“Yeah I'm here,” she said giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

The brightness of the room invaded his eyes and he had to squint against the light. It was like everything was waking up at once this time around. He could smell that familiar anti-bacterial smell that all hospitals had, it filled his nose and made it twitch. His mouth was dry, he could feel the flakes of skin on his lips as he ran his tongue along them trying to restore the moisture back in them. His throat was still sore but he'd managed to mumble Vics name so he knew his voice was working now. 

Vic watched as her brother finally comes to, her hand never leaving his. As his eyes began to focus and he found Vic she could tell how scared his was.

“Why,” he croaked.

She got up and held a straw to his mouth, knowing that he needed to water, it would help lubricate his throat, she needed to talk to him, question him. 

“What do you remember?” she asked softly.

He coughed around the water, but the coolness hit the back of his throat and it felt good.

“I....where's Aaron?”

“Aaron?” Vic questioned, again wondering why her brother was asking for him.

She wasn't sure what to say, did she lie, say he was coming later? Did she tell him the truth? That they hadn’t spoken in ages and she was pretty sure Aaron hated him? No she couldn’t tell him that, not yet, he looked so hopeful at the thought of seeing him, she couldn’t destroy that. 

His eyes searched Victorias and he could tell something was wrong when he asked for Aaron. He didn't understand why he wasn't there with him. They loved each other didn't they? But if he wasn't here did that mean he was hurt too? A wave of panic washed over him and he started to shake.

Before Vic could say anything Roberts whole body started to shake.

“Robert Robert!”

“Vic tell me, where is he? Is he okay?”

“Robert please calm down, he’s fine, I promise.”

Her words made him cry out in relief, Aaron was fine, his Aaron was fine. 

“So where is he?” Robert asked sadly when his hands had stopped shaking.

“What do you remember Robert?” Victoria asked again.

Why wasn't she answering his questions? 

“I don't know Vic, it's all a little fuzzy.”

“Try Robert.” 

“I remember seeing Aaron at the scrapyard.”

That’s good, she thought, although why Robert had been at the scrapyard with Aaron she had no idea.

“He was angry and wouldn't talk to me, did I do something wrong Vic?”

“I don't know Robert,” she said honestly.

“Erm his mum, I can't, I can't……..”

He was getting mad with himself, 

“Urgh! I can't remember her name, she rang and told me to leave. But I couldn't leave him, or you, or Diane or Andy. I love you and I love him. Then I woke up here.”

“Is he still mad at me? It that why he isn't here?” Robert cried.

“You love him?” Vic said her own tears falling down her face at her brothers confusion, she'd never heard him admit it before and she couldn't help be proud of her big brother in that moment.

“Yes.” Robert said through his tears.

Why did she look so shocked? Everyone knew that he loved Aaron, didn't they?

“What about......?” Vic started not sure how to bring up the subject of his failed marriage. 

“What Vic? Have you seen him? Has he been to see me?” 

“I...I don't think so.”

“Oh,” was all Robert could manage, he tried to run his hand down his face but he didn't have the strength, so he just sighed. 

“Why am I here Vic?”

“You were shot Robert, you don’t remember?”

“Andy” he said in horror, a picture of his younger self flashing before his eyes, had his brother finally done what he’d always wanted to do?

“What!? No! I……..can’t………he wouldn’t……….” Vic cried, a little unsure herself about what their brother was capable of.

They both fell silent, each one lost in their own thoughts.

“Robert?” Vic asked after they'd been quiet for a while.

“How long have you and Aaron……….” 

“I....I...I don't know.” Robert said frustrated that he couldn’t remember.

He was about ask Vic if she knew where Aaron was again, when the door opened.

“Mr Sugden, it's nice to you awake.”

“Hmm,” Robert answers still confused about why he can't remember how long he's been in love with Aaron, he knows the moment he fell for him, he can recall every detail, the blue suit Aaron had worn, that made his eyes shine, but he couldn't remember when it was. 

“How are you feeling?”

Robert pinched the bridge of his nose trying to shake the dull ache that had started behind his eyes.

The doctor checked Roberts chart, then his blood pressure which looked good all things considering but he noticed Roberts pained expression. 

“Headache?”

Robert nodded.

“That's to be expected. I'll have a nurse come by and give you something for the pain.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled.

Victoria excused herself from Roberts bedside as the doctor carried out more checks. But as the doctor went to leave she jumped up and asked if she could have a word, looking back at Robert, and indicated they should talk outside the room.

“What is it Mrs…….Barton? Right?” 

“Yeah, it's just, he's been talking.”

“That's good,” the doctor reassured her.

“But he can't remember things, and it's like he's forgotten part of his life.” 

“Like what?” the doctor asked, any information he could gain about his patients health could help him.

“Well from the way he's talking I don't think he knows he's married.”

“Some form of amnesia is highly likely Mrs Barton, your brother has suffered a major trauma, it's only natural there be some implications to that.” 

“But to forget his wife?” Vic blurted.

“Really? That does seem a little odd but it's not uncommon. We are probably looking at a case of selective amnesia.”

“Selective what?”

“Selective amnesia,” the doctor said patiently. 

Victoria was having a hard time taking this in, hadn't Robert suffered enough without having to deal with amnesia as well. 

“It's a term used for the loss of memory of a group of related events but not for other events occurring during the same period of time.” 

“So he might remember other things from when he was married but not the marriage itself,” she said, trying to get her head around what the doctor was saying. 

That made sense, he remembered Aaron, very well apparently but he hasn't mentioned Chrissie once. 

“It's possible yes,” the doctor confirmed.

“Will he ever remember?” Vic asked.

“Mrs Barton, your brother has a long road of recovery ahead of him, and not just physically. It's very possible that with time his memory will return, but it's also possible that he will never remember.” 

Would that be such a bad thing Victoria thought to herself.

“Just give him time,” the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her arm.

Victoria wanted to believe everything would be okay, but looking back at her brother she was worried, worried that he would actually remember everything that happened. Maybe it would be better if never remembered. Maybe it would be better for them all.


	2. The truth is hard to hear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victoria talks to Aaron about Robert but is shocked by his reaction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the months of nothingness but I have the next few chapters of this written so I will be updating sparodically as I complete them.

The conversation with the doctor had left Victoria reeling, what if Robert never remembered then what? She had to find Aaron and ask if what Robert was saying was true or at least tell him Robert was asking about him and maybe if he saw him it would shock his memories, yes it seemed a bit cruel but at this point she didn’t know what else to do. She headed back into her brothers room trying to stop the worry she felt showing on her face. 

“Hey,” she said softly placing her hand gently in his.

“How you feeling? Still got the headache?”

Robert nodded before he groaned,

“Where is he Vic?”

The need in his voice broke Victorias heart she almost wanted to put him out of his misery and tell him Aaron wasn’t coming but she just couldn’t do it, not until shed spoken to her friend. 

He clutched a hand to his head as a searing pain shot through him.

“Vic, Vic I’m scared,” Robert confessed as the beeping of his heart monitor increased at his rapidly beating heart the grip he had on her hand tightening.

“I know I know,” she soothed running her free hand up and down his arm trying to calm him down. 

She wanted to ask him so many questions but for now she chose to let him sleep, his eyes drifting shut as his breathing returned to normal. 

When she was sure he was asleep and would be for a while his detached her hand as slowly as she could not wanting to disturb him and with one last glance she went in search of her husband in desperate need to feel his strong arms around her. As she headed to the neonatal unit she had to stop and hold onto the wall for support as an overwhelming feeling of fear tightened around her chest, she was only 21, was already married, had a seriously ill step son, had no idea where her brother was and now she had to deal with the fact that her other brother had lost his mind. The smooth surface of the wall under her hand grounded her and after a few deep breaths she set off again knowing that if she didn’t cope who else would, she just needed Adam to wrap his arms around her and tell her everything would be okay. And she got that briefly sighing with relief into his chest before her eyes settled on the man stood behind him.

“Aaron,” she breathed out not sure whether to hug him or hit him.

“Everything alright Vic?” Adam asked as she disconnected herself from him.

“Yeah yeah,” she said shaking her head of all the questions he had for Aaron instead looking up at her husband and asking, 

“How’s Johnny?” 

“He’s good,” Adam smiled and Vic felt the tightness in her chest ease slightly.

“Good that’s good,” she replied squeezing his arm. 

“How’s Rob?” Adam asked not that he really cared but he was family now and it was the right thing to do and as Vic answered she couldn’t but notice Aaron lean in closer as if waiting for the answer too.

“He’s…………confused but awake which is good isn’t it?” she shrugged not sure what else to say and she would swear if anyone ever asked she saw Aaron breathe a sigh of relief at the news. 

“I just need to talk to Aaron for a minute,” Victoria said after staring through the window at Johnny for a while. 

“Me why?” Aaron grumbled.

“Just come with me,” Victoria insisted grabbing him by his hoodie sleeve leaving him with no choice but to follow her. 

“What’s going on with you and my brother?” Victoria questioned as soon as they were out of Adams earshot.

“Nothing!” Aaron defended because as far as he was concerned nothing was.

“Can I go now?”

“No!” Victoria cried.

“What the hell Vic?”

“He’s….he thinks……oh Aaron,” Vic sobbed and for some reason she felt like she could let go in front of Aaron in a way she couldn’t with Adam so once the tears started they didn’t stop. 

“Vic?” Aaron reached out and awkwardly rubbed her arm in an attempt to comfort her but he wasn’t prepared for this not like Adam and he found himself looking around in the hopes of passing her off to him.

When his search came up empty and without knowing what else to do he directed a still crying Victoria towards the bank of chairs a little further down the corridor. He wasn’t sure he should leave her but he thought tea would help; tea always helped, and headed off in search of a coffee machine. He’d been to the hospital enough times over the years he found one with ease and returned a few minutes later thankfully to a much more settle Victoria. 

“Here,” he said offering her the small brown cup.

“Thanks,” she sniffed and then,

“Sorry,” to which Aaron shrugged and mumbled,

“Tis kay.”

“Aaron,” Vic breathed as she turned to face her friend,

“He thinks, he thinks you’re a couple.” 

“What?! Why, why would he think that?”

“I don’t know, the doctor said oh Aaron he has something called selective amnesia.”

“Selective what?” 

“Selective amnesia,” she repeated patiently just like the doctor had done with her.

“At this moment in time apart from Diane, Andy and me, you’re the only person he remembers.”

“Chrissie?” Aaron whispered before he could stop himself.

Vic shook her head.

Aaron stood up and began pacing in front of Victoria trying to process what she’d just said. Robert thought they were together, how, why, when they hadn’t been for so long. He ran his hand down his face and chewed on his bottom lip. No he didn’t need to hear this he wanted nothing more to do with Robert or so he told himself on a daily basis.

Vic had started babbling about how Robert needed him if he was ever going to recover and he couldn’t take it anymore he just snapped,

“Stop!” 

“I….I don’t care,” he scoffed. 

“Aaron!” 

“I don’t Vic and why should I after everything he’s done?” not that he could tell her for all she knew it was just an affair but to Aaron it had been so much more and Robert had crushed it.

“I’m sorry Vic I really am but I can’t help you,” and he left her sat there staring at the space he had filled the worry bubbling up again as he wondered how to tell Robert Aaron wasn’t coming to see him, not now, possibly not ever. 


End file.
